Today I leave…

for my pre-op appt with Dr. Davis…I am beyond nervous…I cried last night…I am so sad that I even need this surgery…I told my hubby that I shouldnt have to worry about surgery right now I should be complaining that my back hurts from being pregnant with Olivia but sadly that is not the case…hubby said not to worry that I will vent to him about pregnancy soon enough…that made me happy…he asked me if I still wanted to go thru with the surgery and I was a bit perturbed by that question because I dont believe that there is an option…I know if I got pregnant and had a TVC placed and it failed I would never be able to forgive myself…this surgery eliminates my cervix failing…I know that I could still have complications but the TAC shouldnt fail…hubby did say he knew I was doing this for our next baby but I am still heartbroken that Olivia is not here and I needed to have a loss to find out I have a problem…well I hope the pre-op goes well and there will be no issues with surgery on Friday…I will have a bionic cervix in less than 48 hrs…woohoo!!!


My name is Cindy

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Posted in Loss
15 comments on “Today I leave…
  1. newtoivf says:

    hope all goes well x

  2. Brianna says:

    It is so hard to be in this new normal. You are so grateful for Olivia (looking back) and using her loss to prepare for a future pregnancy (looking forward). There are so many emotions that come and go when you’re in this place. i wish you safe travels and peace & calm for your surgery.

    • cindysn says:

      That is exactly it…I am grateful for Olivia but sad at the same time…Her loss will save her future brother/sister

      • Brianna says:

        She’s just being a good big sister and looking out for those younger than her. You just wish she was here with you. At least that’s how I feel about my kids in Heaven. I truly do think they picked out our rainbow for us.

      • cindysn says:

        Thank you 🙂 I hope that I can have my rainbow soon enough

  3. Good luck with the surgery and recovery.

  4. Thinking of you. You are so brave. ❤

  5. JustHeather says:

    Good luck with the pre-op and surgery!

  6. Being emotional is totally acceptable in this situation. I hope all goes well. Yay for bionic parts!

  7. Praying the surgery goes well and for a fast and smooth recovery!

  8. Stasy says:

    I hope the surgery goes well. Being emotional is completely acceptable. You’ve been through hell and back and even though this is the fix for the next baby, it doesn’t take away the hurting and missing the first one. HUGS!

  9. hilary says:

    good luck – sending good vibes your way

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