Born in Silence…

My friend lost her baby girl at 40 weeks and she sent me this video so I just wanted to share.  It made me cry that so many babies are born in silence and its taboo to talk about stillborns.  Not every pregnancy will mean that you will have a take home baby and I know its hard for people to talk about death in general but especially a baby.  I know it may be depressing for some but we need to talk about it so that families do not suffer in silence.

Approximately 3 million babies are stillborn each year throughout the world. In the US, that’s one baby, one family, every 21 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg7fp5-aPzk&feature=youtu.be

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My name is Cindy

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Posted in Loss, Pregnancy
19 comments on “Born in Silence…
  1. Beautiful. I lost my daughter at 20 weeks and it was tragic, I could not imagine losing her at 40 weeks.

  2. JustHeather says:

    I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss. I was very worried about that as I got closer to my due date. It’s a hard thing to think about, especially when IF is involved and you know all too well that getting pregnant doesn’t always lead to a take home baby.

    • cindysn says:

      I used to think once you past the 1st trimester you were golden but both of our losses happen all the time but families just don’t talk about it.

  3. I know it’s mean, but all stillbirth does is scare someone who’s already had a miscarriage, that nothing means anything and she may never have a baby.

    • cindysn says:

      Its not about being mean its about knowing that getting pregnant does not always result in having a baby to take home. Its reality and people like to live their life with rose colored glasses.

      • Yes, I know. We all know.
        It’s not about rose-colored glasses. It’s about living in perpetual fear after a miscarriage, and having everyone around you talk about stillbirths.

      • cindysn says:

        Its a fear that after you have had a miscarriage will always be there no matter what. I would rather not live like this but thats how it how it will be for me at least.

      • I know. It’s a fear that I don’t want to live with, but will have to.
        But . . .can we stop talking about people who lost their babies after 19 weeks? It just adds to the fear . . .
        At the beginning, I realized that there were SO many other people who had gone through the same thing.

        Then suddenly EVERYONE who had gone through one miscarriage only to have a second or third, popped up.

        Now it’s everyone who’s had a stillbirth. And it is just making me more scared.

        I know it’s not your fault I saw your post. But it just . . .
        I don’t know.

        I’m sorry.

      • cindysn says:

        I am sorry that you are scared but I will NOT stop talking about still birth and miscarriage. I lost my daughter at almost 24 weeks and my friend lost her daughter on her due date so there is NO SAFE zone. Its a fear that not everyone lives with and I know until it touched me close to heart with me and my friend I didnt think it would happen to me or anyone else I know. You need to enjoy everyday you are pregnant and have hope that your pregnancy will result in a happy and healthy baby.

      • First – I am NOT pregnant. I lost my baby at 11 weeks. If I were pregnant, I would have just ignored your post.

        Again, I apologize – I should not have read your post. It’s just that I don’t need this fear, even though I know it’s there and I know the facts, on top of my own obsessive, all-day-consuming fear.

        I am sorry.
        I shouldn’t have said anything.

      • cindysn says:

        Its ok to comment. I am just putting the information out there for everyone to see and realize. I am sorry for your loss.

      • Probably, you’re doing the right thing.

        I just feel like I’m surrounded by this information, and none of it – except from those who went through it in the first trimester and had a healthy baby the next pregnancy – is at all helpful or comforting.

        I am sorry you had to write this, and I am truly sorry if I hurt you. Your loss was probably much tougher than mine. (And, don’t read my blog . . . don’t even look at it.)

      • cindysn says:

        I know I avoided loss blogs when I was suffering with infertility and especially when I became pregnant. I thought to myself that could not happen to me…here I am experiencing it and it really sucks!!! A loss is a loss no matter when it occurs. Yes I was pregnant for longer and you would think I was free and clear but sadly I was not and my friend was not either. We all deal with things differently…

        BTW – I did stop by your blog and I dont get why I should not look at it

      • I started looking for miscarriage blogs, for the information and to know that I wasn’t alone.

        I avoided everything related to miscarriage the first time I was pregnant, but somehow, now, from the beginning, I looked EVERYTHING up. Don’t ask why . . .

        It does suck, big time. I wish I knew what caused these things to happen . . .

        I said not to look at it, because I lost #2, and I figured you would NOT want to read a blog that talks about parenting in Israel. That’s all. If it doesn’t bother you, well, then, I’m glad. I keep wanting to write about my miscarriage, but my mother and siblings don’t know that I was even pregnant, so I don’t want to write about it, just in case they see it. (They know my blog address . . .) Sounds funny, but it’s a long story. I just don’t want to have to deal with answering their questions. Maybe in three years, or whenever I have a healthy baby.

      • BTW, if you want – you can delete my stream of comments.

      • cindysn says:

        No need for me to delete 🙂

  4. Ana H says:

    Cindy, thank you for posting this. Still birth is such a difficult topic to think about but the more we talk about it the more support we can give people who go through this terrible tragedy. A couple of years ago I was working with a young man who’s baby was stillborn; I was unable to find the words to support him. I am still sorry for my inadequacy. If I had known more, heard more and been more aware, perhaps I could have helped, or at least not ignored, him through such a terrible time. There will always be fear through a pregnancy after a loss, and it is important to remember that still birth is rare, but the loss and pain that couples who loss a baby feel should be acknowledged.

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