Mother’s Day will hard…

I was supposed to be pregnant celebrating the impending birth of my daughter Olivia but sadly that was not meant to be.  This Mother’s Day was supposed to be my first ever that I would be happy but I guess that was not in the cards.  It will be a truly sad day for me and all the mother’s of angels.  Everyone who has lost a child is a mother even though they do not have a child to hold.  Its so surreal to think that its been 3 months since we lost her and I miss her like crazy.  She was only here for 6 months but she has left such an impact on my life.  She is my life and I love her so much that it hurts to even talk about it.  I am going to hide this coming Sunday.  I am happy for all the mother’s that can and will celebrate the day but I am so utterly sad for myself and all the mother’s who cannot.

I am a Mom…a Grieving Mother

They say time’s a healer
But I don’t find that to be true.
I was happy at the chance
Of getting to know you.
Then my heart shattered the day I lost you.
I am a grieving mother.

No one should say goodbye
Before saying hello.
We deserved snuggles and cuddles,
Bumps and bruises.
Not tears that roll down daily.
I am a grieving mother.

I loved you from conception
Till the day God called you Home.
He said you’ve learned your lesson,
So until we meet again in Heaven,
Remember I love you!
I am a grieving mother.

Author – unknown

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My name is Cindy

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Posted in Loss
14 comments on “Mother’s Day will hard…
  1. newtoivf says:

    will be thinking of you and all grieving mothers on sunday xx

  2. iskdfine says:

    I just lost my baby and I am with you. Good thoughts are being sent to you.

  3. Ana H says:

    I am so sorry for how bloody hard this is. Three months is no time at all. I don’t think the pain ever goes away it just becomes tolerable. Do everything and anything you need to do to get yourself through mother’s day. Next year it will still sting but probably not so much.

  4. Froward Words says:

    I’m really feeling sorry for myself right now. The past few Mother’s Days have been really hard for me, but all I can think about is that I’m supposed to be 36 weeks pregnant. I’m supposed to be getting ready for birth and not worrying about IUI’s and TWW’s again. I’m going to allow myself to mope for a little bit each day this weekend, but I refuse to let it dominate me. I’ve had enough of that crap lately.

  5. tazdream says:

    Sending strength n love xo

  6. I feel sorry for those of you who have to experience such a difficult thing in life but i do believe that womens’ bodies work in mysterious ways. I have a cousin who had sex with no protection for years and one day got pregnant when she wasn’t expecting to. Maybe it wasn’t in the cards to have a baby and keep it right now but that could eventually change. My heart goes out to you but you were strong enough to share your experience with others which can’t be easy. Just know you’re not alone in this experience. You may not be a mother in a physical sense but you are one in spirit.

  7. catwoman73 says:

    You are a mother sweetie… I’m so sorry this weekend is going to be so hard for you. Do something nice for yourself, and celebrate your strength. You deserve it. Hugs…

  8. Melanie says:

    Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who are celebrating the day empty handed due to a loss or because your child has yet to make it to your arms. You are just as much a mother as the woman who has 12 kids tagging along after her. You are a mother in your heart, you go through the pain of treatments and negatives, but you are already a mother putting forth more as a mother to bring your children here, than so many others. Babyloss moms, you have endured the most tragic and important job a mother could ever do for her child. Sending them off from this life with love and honor and respect. Being strong and keeping their memory alive. Doing this while grieving and heartbroken in a society who minimizes the greatest effort a mother could possibly do…. letting go. It’s a shame that Mother’s Day is the way it is, alienating and separating women, rewarding some, degrading and ignoring others due to things they have no control over. If anything, Mother’s Day should lift up those who are Mother’s in their heart but not in their hands because ultimately, the mother’s getting all the praise and fluff HAVE their greatest gift already, their children. And now that I have experienced Mother’s Days as an infertile, a baby loss momma, and as a mother of living children, I can say that the difficulties of raising children-the exhaustion, the sacrifices, the worry, etc. is NOTHING compared to the lifelong grief I carry for the child who cannot be with me. Happy Mother’s Day to you all. XOXO

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