and I should not be at work!!! I should be delivering my daughter and holding her in my arms completely in love. I should be a mother to a living and breathing little girl. I should not be crying and wondering why me. I should be the happiest person on earth. I should be loving my life. I should be worrying about being able to breastfeed. I should be thinking about how much my husband loves his daughter. I should be doing all of these things but sadly I am not able to do that. I am crying that I cannot hold her. I am missing her everyday. I am blaming myself for what happened. I am ashamed that I was scared to have a daughter. I am sad. I am lonely. I am afraid. I am hurt. I am depressed. I am completely and utterly heart broken. I am all of these things that I wish I was not.
I miss you Olivia Grace with all my heart and soul!!!
Mommy will always love you!!!