The hard part is NOT over!!!

Someone made a comment when I posted at 5w5d and said the hard part is over.  It def is not just because you have a couple of positive beta’s, they confirm that the pregnancy is progressing means I am out of the woods in anyway.  I know a lot of women think that if you get a positive pregnancy test that you will have a baby but thats not always the case.  I take it week by week and milestone by milestone.  We need to hear the heartbeat next week and it needs to be over 100bpm next is it to hear it again the following week and it should be stronger around 130-150bpm.  Once you hear the heartbeat the chances of miscarriage drop but they dont go away.

I will be super nervous this whole pregnancy because we lost our daughter and the whole you passed the 1st trimester means your having a healthy baby is gone!!!  That naive innocence is long gone.  To be honest I dont think I was ever naive about it.  My good friend lost her daughter at 40 weeks so I know that until you are holding your baby anything can go wrong.  Going thru IF really changes your perspective on pregnancy. I am happy but cautious and that is how I will probably stay this whole pregnancy.

The hard part is def not over.  I have just started the hard journey!!!


My name is Cindy

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Posted in IVF, Pregnancy
15 comments on “The hard part is NOT over!!!
  1. oc15 says:

    very much understand this thinking. enjoy your milestones and special moments and i hope for you that you have your beautiful rainbow baby in your arms soon

  2. Yep. i hear u 100%. i worry daily all day long at 27 weeks. I’m not going to be able to “relax and enjoy being pregnant”. this annoys my family i think but they don’t know because they haven’t been there. But i hope for a healthy safe pregnancy for u.

  3. kastreet says:

    I hear you. I gave birth at ~27 weeks and lost both my daughters after a NICU stay. Nothing is a given.

  4. torthuil says:

    Hi again, here from ICLW. I am glad to hear about your successful FET and the good news about the the pregnancy so far! I can see how it’s hard to let go of the anxiety especially after a loss. I think I will probably have similar feelings when I (hopefully) achieve a pregnancy one day. But I hope that along with the fear this new life brings you some joy as it continues to grow. All the best xo

  5. chickenboo42 says:

    100% agreed. I made it to 39 weeks only to lose Luke to a cord accident. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that there’s NEVER any sure thing.

  6. clwalchevill says:

    Here from ICLW. I absolutely agree with you about the hard part not being over. Especially when you’ve had a late term loss. But what I hope for you is that as you reach each milestone, particularly the one that is similar to when you experienced your tragedy, you’ll be able to accept this pregnancy more and more. I’ve witnessed a fair number of women pregnant after IF/loss who do not allow themselves to find some joy in their pregnancies only to worry all the more after the baby is born that they somehow caused their child to be overly anxious/ feel guilt for missing out on the pregnancy. I know it’s early and it’s still scary, but just take it one day/one step at a time.

  7. catwoman73 says:

    Lol… no, the hard part is most definitely not over! I’m so lucky that I managed to have one child… and I can attest to the fact that the ‘hard part’ never really goes away- the challenges just keep changing. It’s so worth it though… hope you’re hanging in there!

  8. Jen Frey says:

    No, unfortunately, the herd part is not over. Much strength to you in the weeks ahead. After many losses, I almost literally didn’t sleep (almost hospitalized because of it) the first trimester with my son (IVF#6). I now in the 2ww, but for me a positive beta (should it happen) just means more agonizing hope and waiting. But then, hope springs eternal (at least that is my motto!)

    ICLW #50

  9. Tara says:

    I have been so busy, I haven’t visited lately…CONGRATULATIONS!! I’m beyond ecstatic for you…I will be thinking of you, as I know you’ll be battling through so many emotions over the next 34 weeks (or so). Ahhh…it’s so nice to hear good news from the IF “family” 🙂

      • Bachelor's Button says:

        Goodness I understand that. A baby in the arms = a baby. I had mine at 24 weeks and he lived for one week and then my twins at 27 weeks and lost my daughter. I have my son now and I am so so grateful for him. It is a struggle and pregnancy feels like an eternity to those of us who have lost. There is always a sense of unease….. BUT when you get there you really do appreciate every minute. Hx

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