Thoughts Of Becoming A Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know I will be better

I will be better not because of genetics or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and I prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child . I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover, I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, a friend and a sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tired by the fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall

I have prevailed
I have succeeded
I have won

So now, when others hurt around me I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs,

I listen

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten, as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learn a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes

I have learn to appreciate life

Yes I will be a wonderful person

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About

My name is Cindy

Posted in Pregnancy
10 comments on “Thoughts Of Becoming A Mother
  1. InLimbo says:

    That’s beautiful. And true.

  2. ecutri says:

    I found this poem last year, I wish I knew who the author was as it is so beautiful. I printed it out and kept it in my wallet for all of my appointments. I posted it on my blog during my second round of IVF and it helped to read it every day. I posted it on facebook and it was a huge hit, even though I thought it would be a little controversial (for some strange reason people like to be less than positive on my fb and it’s probably not intended but it’s not helpful)
    I’m glad you found this beautiful poem as it puts into perspective how we feel…I’ve never seen it put in better terms. It’s beautiful and a wonderful thing to share.

  3. bebeparler says:

    So true. Did you write this? It’s beautiful. I have discovered some people I thought were friends run from my pain in order to save their own discomfort. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  4. Beautiful, and so true xo

  5. stickfus says:

    Reblogged this on My Life of Infertility and commented:
    Please don’t take any of this personally, but these are my feelings. Well put!

  6. A. says:

    These words literally took my breath away: “I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. …I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, a friend and a sister because I have known pain.”

    Beautiful insight.

  7. […] It cultivated in me a more mature and sophisticated grasp on compassion that’s best stated by this.  It forced a balance between work and life and a value on the hard-won time with my future […]

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