Would this upset you???

So I get an email from my “friend” who is currently pregnant with a girl.  We havent spoken since May for various reasons one being that her husband texted my husband that she was pregnant instead of having the balls to tell me personally plus I cant be around pregnant people right now anyway.  So I get the email and basically asks me if she can use the name Olivia since she loves it.  I start crying and get really upset that she would even have the audacity to ask me.  My response to her was if my daughter Olivia were alive would you even ask me this question.  I get no response.  I feel like our friendship is over and I cant stand to even be around someone so stupid to think I would ever say sure use the name.  Just thinking about it gets me upset.  I know I dont own the name Olivia but we were close or so I thought.  I was in her freaking wedding and this moron thinks I would be ok with it.  I guess I think too highly of people but the more people I know the more I realize that people lack common sense!!!


My name is Cindy

Posted in Loss
11 comments on “Would this upset you???
  1. kastreet says:

    You wouldn’t believe how many times this week I have seen other BLMs post this! What the hell are people thinking!? Of course we will be upset, no we don’t want to call a ‘friend’s’ living child by our angel child’s name.

    On the other hand, I prefer people to tell me via email, txt, or messenger they are pregnant. That way there is no awkward silence in person or over the phone, and so I can cry if needed. So, that being said, I can understand why they texted (thought it should have been from her to you, not have her husband tell your husband to tell you). This is hard. They could have handled it better than they did, but the preference of in person or over email etc seems to be very 50/50 in the BLM world.

    Sorry you had to go through this. We quickly learn who our ‘real’ friends are don’t we?

    • cindysn says:

      I would have preferred her to tell me instead of how they did it. I know it can hard in person but send me the text. I def know she is not my friend

      • kastreet says:

        No denying the way it was done was very upsetting. I’m sorry you had to experience that. Sometimes I really wonder what people are thinking around us….

  2. jonsie13 says:

    Yes, this would upset me. I do not blame you at all.
    I know it is very difficult, practically impossible (it seems) for those who have not been through the things we go through with IF to truely comprehend the agony and pain that come along with our struggles.
    I have been lucky with friends who have become pregnant through our years of trying – some friends even asking me of names that I liked so they were sure to avoid them. Not eveyone knows how to handle these delicate situations. Everyone is different, but this “friend” of yours could use a lesson in compassion – in my opinion.

  3. Kate says:

    It would probably have upset me, but at least she asked. Would it have been better for her to just name her daughter Olivia without asking? A friend recently had a girl and asked for suggestions on names. I gave her what we were originally naming our daughter though we changd our minds when we lost them. She fell in love with it and asked if it would be ok to use it. I’m honored that she chose our name. I will always associate it with Liz, so I can never use it. This is, of course, 4 years out from our loss.

    You have every right to feel hurt, but don’t wash your hands of the friendship just yet.

  4. I too would be upset. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this.

  5. CAT says:

    Her actions are very inconsiderate. I sometimes think people are clueless.

  6. satoyafoster says:

    That would upset me as well. Just sheer lack of consideration and loyalty! I’m really sorry about this. Trying to get pregnant is difficult enough.

  7. Isabelle says:

    Yeah I’d be upset too. There are so many girl names out there. No need to pick the same one.

  8. bebeparler says:

    Yes I’d be very upset at that- extremely insensitive of her to put it mildly. Has she no clue?? I can’t believe someone could be so selfish knowing it would cause you pain. And the way she informed you of her pregnancy? Appalling.

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