So I was asking myself the other day am I still infertile even though I have a child?
I suffered through infertility for many years and thankfully we were able to bring home our rainbow baby. Now that we are talking about a second child I think about all the struggles I had but have a child.
In what world do I belong…if I talk about it to women struggling with infertility with children I get the at least you have one baby and those mom’s that have children and can easily have others do not understand the struggle.
Its such a strange place where I have fears and struggles like any other person struggling with PCOS/Infertility as well as balancing being a mother.
Its a weird place to be in when you have these feelings that you are alone and nobody understands what you are going through.
Its a dark place where you feel like what if you are not able to be blessed again.
Its a cold place where you want to have all the hope & faith like you did when you were struggling.
Its a jealous place. I am jealous of women who can get pregnant naturally after having a baby because their cycle magically return and normalize.
Its an empty place because you want to belong to a group that seems to not exist.
Its a place. My place…but hopefully for not too long.