Do you ever wonder why the pain comes in waves? I think its total torture. I will have a good 3-4 days with no crying or overt sadness and then BAM I will cry at a song or just thinking about Olivia. It hits you like a ton of bricks. I was crying in the shower and my hubby comes and asks me whats wrong and I said I should be worrying about my baby shower right now. Its just so damn hard some days!!!