So today I had my first RE appt so that I can start AF. I have not gotten AF since we lost Olivia in February. It was so tough sitting in that office again. I had to get 5 vials of blood taken and then a sono. I was surprised by the sono and I asked why I needed it. They wanted to check and make sure there were no cysts. My lining was at 10mm which I am happy about cause I have a fear that it would be thin and that would mean I have a perpetual lining issue. I had no cysts and I asked the tech about my cervix and if she could see my TAC. She had never seen a TAC before and you could clearly see this bright white band around my cervix which was a comfort to see. I did cry while I was on the table waiting for the sono since the last time I was there I was so happy to be pregnant with my darling Olivia.
I start provera today for 10 days and then I have to call when I get AF so that I can have another baseline. I will then be able to schedule the mock transfer and saline sonogram. After that I will need to cycle again or take provera again in June to start my FET cycle.
I am really nervous and anxious that this FET will not work. I really want to bring home my rainbow baby. There is nothing in this world that could ever replace Olivia but I want to give her a brother or sister. My heart is just so broken and to be able to get pregnant will bring back the joy that we lost…
My name is Cindy
This Roller Coaster Called Life... 
Going back to the RE’s office can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Our first visit back after Oscar and Bella was unusual in that what sent me there was that I got a cycle all on my own, so my appointment was filled with hope that my body was doing something right, as opposed to reliving past visits. It sounds like you made it through okay, even though you shed some tears. I think that’s to be expected. No matter where you are, what you’re doing or who you’re with, you’re missing Olivia. Thrilled to hear that you have no cysts, lining is good and you were able to get confirmation that your TAC was there and visible. Wishing you some joy, and a rainbow, in your life.
Thank you
I too am venturing back to the RE and another cycle. I totally understand the rollercoaster of emotions your dealing with. I hope all goes well and your rainbow comes soon.
Its just so hard…
Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!
Thanks
Just tons and tons of HUGS!
Thanks
I couldn’t stop crying at my last RE appointment. It got so bad my husband got some water for me so I could take an anxiety pill. I was used to early IUI appointments with no waiting – silly me!
No cysts – yay! Good luck
I was there early morning and it still sucked
I know this is a rough path; please know you do not walk it alone! Thanks for visiting my little place in the world 🙂 Wishing you lots of positivity and rainbow vibes in the days & weeks ahead.
Namaste–
Tara
Thank you